'Tis time for an update isn't it? It has been quite sometime since i've last written on my blog. I've been meaning to, but something keep popping up and i am driven away! It's sad, but i've been reading Helen's Felding's book and i'm going to write somewhat similar to her most famous character, Bridget Jones!

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Friday 27 February
8 st 2 (must pack on more winter fat, else by hot summer chaps will lose me when i turn to the left), alcohol units 0 (v.g.), cannabis hits 2 (excellent), calories 2453, *69 calls 0 (v.g. does not count staring at call display monitor)

These past 2 weeks have been quite a whirlwind, i must say. Got a new job. Got a boyfriend. Got into a feminine urban fiction novel, Bridget Jones, resulting in funny looks from macho blookes and "how cute" stares from girls while in the queue for the tube. What more can I ask for?

The job these past few weeks has been v. hectic, thrown into the fray into projects mid-run and in posh client meetings. Funny, while in meetings i have a sudden urge to go in my pocket and pull out cornnuts i purchased at the local cornershop, and saying "Oh how rude of me. Care for a nut?"

My manager is absolutely smashing. She's only about 2 years older than me, so we've related on so many levels. She's wicked at her job, professional and fast paced; yet also we can chat about things like weed, the weekend and other odds and sods. So far it's good, yet i am still unsure if/when I should come out. One of her work friends is quite clearly queer (if you know what you're looking for. Not talking about the Flaming Queenie wanker who can't stop talking about random repetitive circuit music DJ), am i'm sure she's cool with it. I don't know really. Unsure on next steps. It's been only two weeks, so I mustn't think about these sort of things. I should be focusing on the job and of course spending my days thinking what I should do for weekened with new boyfriend!

I cannot believe this. V.g. indeed. It is a new leaf this year (this time I mean it), and i know i'm not very hot into things like astrological signs, however ever since the new Year Of The Monkey, everything seems to be falling into place. Note: consider picking up a few instants and lottery ticket over weekend.. I shall call him Mark Darcy, since he is a lot like him.. well, except that he isn't a human rights lawyer, dating an elitist twit named Natasha, not living in England, younger than he is..... ok, well, he is of British descent nonetheless!* (--*half british half south african). Whatever, Mark has been smashing so far, and i'm quite comfortable with him. Many things will hopefully be planned, but it's definitely quite hard finding enough time given my schedule as well as his own too.

Oh, other news. I have also got a permanent mobile (quite an oxymoron sentence, but you get the picture). Been using the family moble "pay-as-you-go-while-we-rip-the-trousors-off-your-shorts-from-deplorable-rate-and-ghastly-bill", which I am so happy to stop using. I hated feeling so rush rush when speaking, but i did learn how to speak much more efficiently.

Example:

"Hello?"
"I'm fine thanks--" (why waste time to say Hi/ Hi / How are you/Good/How are you?--)
"--meet 4 sharp by old singing man on yonge/bloor bye" ---time: 3.32 s

(I was just notified that unbeknownst to me this bloody plan bills by the minute!! Wankers !!)

Anyway, moble speedspeech days are over. FiDo has saved the day. Work has paid for my phone, and will pay for any calls I receive/make for work. Got call display so I don't pick up while at dirty club dancing the Flaming Queers (see above) and forced to answer question about product placement with manager. Lucky for me, hopefully i will be WITH my manager at club! (we can dream, can't we?)

It has been quite an eventful few weeks, with so much more to come. I have an upcoming show where my band will be performing next week, and we're getting a full four-piece out there. How great will that be? Hopefully it will be good, and we can start to fill out our sound onstage.

-RE

"eat drink and be merry"

My trip to Kingston was quite eventful, to say the least! I went up last Tuesday - Thursday, the week before I started work at my new job. It was definitely a spontaneous adventure, since I hadn't 100% secured a place to crash that night, and didn't have her number/address on me! :)

Ok, that's a bit of an exaggeration, since i did tell them last weekend, and they were aware that I'd probably be coming up that week.

TUESDAY

Back to class
On Tuesday I went to a Social Justice seminar class with a friend, basically right when i arrived. Other than catching up with the 4 friends there, this was one of the best parts of my trip. It was very interesting being in another university class, feeling totally comfortable in the room once i got in. It was also a great topic this week, having a guest speaker and touching on gender issues in public schools. I could tell that this class didn't have much structure, since we didn't speak too much about "gender" at all, but rather used that as the spring board for general class discussion.

The guest speaker was a Drama / English Media teacher from a local public school. She was self-identified as queer as well as diagnosed with ADHD. Her story was incredible. Her struggle with being queer and literally almost being forced out of a job was amazing. Basically, this teacher endured an 8 hour interrogation meeting by 3 levels of the board, put to tears and literally screaming "where the FUCK to i sign to resign" with (luckily) the union rep RIPPING THE LETTER OF RESIGNATION from her hands. So why did all this happen? A young boy told her that he was gay and wanted to come out to his very narrow-minded parents. This teacher spoke to him about his parents (I think she also had them before) and discussed whether it was the right decision. She gave him additional literature to read and after some talks he decided to tell them.

They LOST IT.

...and they blamed it all on her. After finding all these queer pamphlets and reading material, they asked the boy where he got this "propaganda" from. When they heard it was from this teacher, they went BALLISTIC. Hell broke loose, and this teacher had her life ruined for about 5 years because of it. The superintendents, board members, etc. were yelling "WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS FROM!?!" she proclaimed, "the FUCKING GUIDANCE ROOM DOWN THE FUCKING HALL!!!". That shut them up!

You know what the kicker was? Her advice, after talking about his parents and his life stage at the moment, her opinion was to NOT tell them. Heh. Stupid narrow-minded straight parents!! Finally, after 5 years she received a letter from the mother aplogizing for all they had caused. She told her how they needed someone to blame for this, and this teacher was the easiest to point at. Finally she gets redemption! Man.

What also impacted me was her struggle with the staff. After teaching for about 11 or 12 years now, one teacher has FINALLY started to say "hi" back to her. Each morning she would say "Hi there " with a smile, and they would just look away. To find out that they're now finally acknowledging her existence is sad, but at least a little bit encouraging. I think about some of my teachers and their old fashioned ways, i can totally see problems with them. If the educators possess this internalized homophobia, imagine their influential and authoritative power over their impressionable students.

The teacher also spoke about the "fake" ones, who are pretending to be supportive but aren't. You later find out that they're backtalking to their teacher friends/spouses about you. That hurts, b/c it just reinforces how hard it can be to trust and to continually read between the lines.

Key lesson? The key takeaway from her talk was to first "play the game" to develop contacts, reputation, and prove your ability ...THEN take action for changes. When you do so, you have that support network and proven performance record. If you aren't totally perfect and NOT an exceptional employee, then they will fire you on that infraction. To go in and start havoc will not get you anywhere. Sucks eh? But change takes time...

Cheezy Time
After that I met up with more of my friends, and soon there were 4 of us out to dinner at an upper class restaurant. There was a bakery-style storefront, with a restaurant in the back. My friend's girlfriend worked there, so we thought we'd give the place a shot.

Little did i know that it was a fine dining CHEESE CUISINE menu! Heh. But it was all good, they did have a few other dishes i could eat.

After dins, we went to a great coffee shop called Smokey Joe's. It was an artsy coffee shop setup as an co-operative. It had that indie-toronto coffee shop flavour to it, minus the music. It ranges from whatever the employees want, which can be Fefe Dobson to RAGE to DMX! :)

WEDNESDAY
This day was crazy, mainly because of the interesting Kingston by-laws that are not readily communicated to newcomers.

Basically, there is an unspoken by-law that states that no automobile shall park at ANY street from 1 a.m. - 7 a.m. in the winter months. After I parked on Tuesday and my friend and I triple inspected the signs to ensure it was legal, I found an empty space when I walked out the next day.

MISS MAZDA WAS TOWED!

She was taken from me. Poor girl! I felt horrible. I had to go down to the Kingston police station and get my car released. I tried to plead ignorance, but i'm sure they've heard that sob story before. Apparently it's been around for 30 years. fancy that eh? I'm sure it's a critical cash cow for them now, and loving every cent of it.

The tow yard was out in the middle of Kingston nowhere, in a sketch area. Luckily one of my friends was available to bail me out and drive me there. This place was straight out of Deliverance. There were 3 guys, one looking like the head honcho, a guy resembling a younger and skinnier bubbles (left image), and a guy looking like he just got back from sexually assaulting the neighbourhood Kingston wildlife. Oi.

After that ordeal, I headed out for dinner at a cool korean/sushi place called Ta-Ke, and later went out to a bar to see a few bands play. I had heard of the first band, Marlowe, who i think it based in Toronto. The second, apparently nominated for a Juno, was called "The Stars". They were both cool bands, sounding a bit like Broken Social Scene. The Stars had great stage presence and performed like seasoned musicians. It's the kind of indie/electronic music that is great to listen to, but a bit hard to pay 100% attention to. I like having this sort of music on while doing other things, or chilling / smoking up to :) - But great stuff still.

I also ran into an old high school friend, who apparently spotted me while at the bar. It was great to see her! It's been years man, and she looks great! She's definitely a Queens girl, now off to Australia on exchange next week. Wicked eh? I'm sure she'll have a blast.

That night I contemplated driving back to Toronto. I was sick of thinking of the status of Ms. Mazda, and since I'd be going home early Thursday, I thought "why not?". Of course, flashbacks of my crazy driving trip to Ottawa and back came back to haunt me. On that trip Ms. Mazda and I drove in the late afternoon to a DMB concert in Kanata (near Ottawa) and came back home late that same night. That was an ugly scene, b/c no one else in the car could drive. OI!

I didn't want to go through that again, especially since I would be alone driving this time and could easily pass out and find myself in a ditch or somewhere more devastating. I stayed there the night and chanced it at the overnight underground parking lot... Turns out it was all good and my car was still there the following morning. Fiewf!

...In Retrospect
Overall I had a great time and would do it again. Despite the little mishap with the ridiculous cash cow by-law, the trip was a good time. And even that experience wasn't that bad, and kind of funny when you think of it; it adds to the excitement of the experience i guess :). I was so happy to reconnect with some of my friends there @Queens, and hope to see them sometime later this year, hopefully in the summer at least.

Take care,

RE

"eat drink and be merry"

Over the weekend, I went to see a friend perform at a dance show called 'EMBRACE' by a UofT dance group called 'The Only Human Dance Collective' (TOHDC). It was held at a very nice UofT Theatre, with balcony and orchestra seating.

I got some great seats on the balcony, so we can have a good view of all the dancers performing. The show, this year entitled "EMBRACE", showcases a variety of classical and modern dance styles, embracing all dancers and choreographers from UofT. Their mandate was for total acceptance of anyone who wants to participate, resulting in a show with dancers from all skill levels. This event reminds me of the Laurier dance show called "Fashon 'N Motion", but that was much much much more cliquey than this one, since TOHDC takes in everyone. The show still had that "college feel" with friends in the audience yelling out "GOOOO SARAH!!" before they performed. Gosh, the memories.

Although I'm not used to watching modern dance, or any dance in general, I had a good time! Each number lasted about 2-3 mins, so it was quite intense; I must have seen 30-40 different ones that night. It was also exciting to see my friend on stage for numerous numbers too, however I was a bit stressed during those ones, hoping that he wouldn't screw up!

There some pop songs from artists such as Janet Jackson, christina, and Evanescence, as well as older artist slike Janis and the Temptations (WAR). There were also classical pieces and a few experimental ones to round the evening. It was great to see the dancers having so much fun, b/c that's what it's all about. It was a sold out show, and I could feel the energy from the stage toward us. It wasn't about absolute perfection and arrogance, but just students expressing their artistic side in the way of dance. How cool is that?

The only criticism is one that dancers cannot really change, since i'm finding it's inherent in ANY dancer. By this I mean the difference between listening to the music or the lyrics. There are times when i listen to the music first, but when i can understand what the vocalist is saying, i will first draw my attention to that, using that as the driver for the song. All the music for my band is inspired by a lyric or a meaning, driving the rest of the music to bring it all to life. But most dancers (obviously) are instinctively drawn to the beat. It makes sense, since that's what they do! So what am i complaining about?

Well, some of the dance numbers had little to do with the meaning of the song, and only the "groove" and/or perhaps taking from just the title lyric for inspriation. For example, there was one song that spoke something about a daze of a woman he is falling for, his body yearning to be with her, and doesn't want to be fooled by her power. He's close, but has a feeling that his love means nothing to her, and feels like a fool under her spell.

What do we see? A huge dance off where one side of dancers faces another, in that Christina Aguilera video way.. and they're wearing spanish-inspired clothing, perhaps b/c the guitars had a latino flavour. It was still a great performance, don't get me wrong, but if you listened to the lyrics you'd want them to show intimacy, the electric spark and coy behaviour between the 2 lover, not 15 or so ppl dancing and putting in flips and spins for the sake of it. But again, they're dancers :). I'm sure dancers would say the same thing for singer songwriters -- "Some of their music is so boring, grueling and lifeless -- you need a good beat in there!"

One song performed was called "Aint no sunshine." I really liked the song and afterwards downladed it, seeing who it was by. It turns out it was from AMERICAN IDOL. THE SHAME! How sad is that? Pathetic, i've degraded myself to enjoying pre-packaged built to sell manufactured music... Got any milk with that?

A Night With Stereophonics and Howie Day
Tonight I just got back from a concert at the Kool Haus where Stereophonics and Howie Day performed. I won free tix to the concert from eye weekly, from correctly answering a question about Stereophonics. I must say it was a good question, considering you'd have to know a little something from the band to answer it:

Q: What b-side from the Tragically Hip did Stereophonics cover?

Overall it was a fun show, especially b/c it was free! Howie was the opener, and he was good as well. He didn't do the funky petal layering stuff that he's known for, b/c now he finally has a band behind him! Because he started alone, most of his songs were still ballads, and I think now he just needs to write songs with full bands in mind.. sound familiar? :)

The Stereophonics set was also great, playing a lot of the older stuff that I know. They did play some newer stuff (which to me are the last 2 albums), which sounded pretty good too.

I found that the crowd was a bit subdued; it could be because of the weather. Or perhaps it was because the band is starting to get past his peak? I'm not sure. Ah well, I still had a great time and was super happy just to be there getting my concert fix for the month! :)

Kingston here I come
Since i don't start my new job until next Monday, I've decided to go to Kingston for a few days. Why the 'STONE? My thoughts exactly. Basically, I didn't want to go too far b/c of cost and b/c of time, since i need to be back for a gig with my band on Friday. Kingston is a great choice b/c there are four different friends whom I would love to visit and see how they're doing. I'm also going to be attending a social justice class, and i'd love to see what the prof has to say there. I don't think i'll open my big mouth, but we'll see :)

I also dyed my hair. It's burgundy! I had a craving to colour it, and add some life in this bleak winter months. the thing is, I don't know how work will take it, since I know that i need to be professional in front of the clients. So i may have to colour it back next week, which would be a shame, but I want to start on the right foot at this job first. Perhaps after a positive repertoire with the clients / company is established, then we can work on adding in colour in the office! :). I will take some photos with my NEW DIGITAL CAMERA, so you can all see it before it goes...!

So it's off to the STONE for me!

Take care,

RE

"eat drink and be merry"

A: Fiddler's Green

Finally, the day has come. I have finally landed a JOB! It's been quite the long haul, i must say. Months and months of this turmoil. I have done my set of corporate interviews for a while, i can tell you that! At least in the future I have lots of experience sitting in interviews, and hopefull there's nothing that will suprise me anymore...

...May be i'll be on the OTHER SIDE of the table. Yes, that will be a much better position to be in eh?

I got a job at an Integrated Marketing Communications company, a fancy way of calling themselves an Advertising agency. I'm not going into why they don't call it that, to save your time and energy -- kinda like how we don't question how the hell the microwave works.. (uhh micro "waves" heat it up, and it was developed by NASA way back.. and it cooks my TV dinners!)

I'll be an account coordinator there, working in the account management side of the business, though i'll be working closely with the creatives and the production groups too. It's great since i'll be working on a major account in the US and well as new business, pitching our campaign ideas to potential profit/non-profit clients. So there will be some travel to the US, but at least it will be a paid trip :)

..thoughts..
Boy, it's been awhile since i've really flexed my marketing muscles. Sure, the part time work I have been doing required some marketing, but it was mainly in terms of sales. I have been waiting for a big presentation to the central I.T. advisory committee, but so far it doesn't show any sign of it materializing in the near future. And i also need some income!! I do believe it is a great project, but the timing is off for me. I need to get some more work experience rather than focusing my time on entrepreneural efforts right now.. i don't have the capital or savings to sustain it -- perhaps after 5-10 years i may, but not now. arugh. well, i hope to remain in contact and help them out as much as i can in the future.

I'm glad i can really put my creative and analytical side to this new career, and get great experience in the industry. What's also great is that they're supportive of the band already, and in fact my account supervisor gave me a few places/people to talk to already! She's very cool, very driven and hopefully we'll work well together.

I know that i may get flak from some peer groups and even family about my decision to take this position, since i am quite anti-mass consumerism and centralized media ownership, but honestly, they can't top the damage i've already done myself already. I did make a strong effort to try and work in social marketing, and got relatively close for example with JWT. In the end i just did not have the paper qualitifications (e.g. 4 yrs working or 2-3 years charitable work experience) to be considered past the 1st round. I could bearly even make it past the telephone screening!

Working here can give me great experience, and i hope to stay here a while. My long term goals of social marketing will keep me going, and i know that this is one step in the right direction for me. If others contest it, then they're just being shit disturbers b/c i can just as easily put them in their place for their social/ethical/moral/political/economic and environmental choices that they have made in their lives. Perhaps that's what i'll do -- If someone wnats to take me b/c they feel like putting me down or causing grief, then let's go. John Maclean is ready for anything...yippe kay-yea Mr. Falcon!*

Take care,

RE

"eat drink and be mery"

*a reference to a saying by Bruce Willis in "Die Hard", censored on cable TV.

This year's superbowl was actually quite a good game. I usually only watch 1 NFL game per year, so i've met my quota. They won the game by a field goal (3 points) that was hit with only 1 minute remaining in the game. If the guy missed, then it would have gone to sudden death overtime. Go Carolina! i'm glad that the underdog did so well this time around.

The superbowl is more about comrodery than anything, because usually it's a huge blowout and boring to watch (even for the actual football fans). This year it was actually engaging, and there were some great plays made. The halftime show unfortunately "stole the show" with the Janet Jackson / Timberlake exposed breast. Funny thing is, i didn't see it as being THAT bad, and it took me until the next day when the barrage of media (word of mouth, radio, tv) that the issue came to my mind.

What a great publicity stunt eh? They've got a big buzz, and perhaps a bit too big-- since many ppl were offended by this. Shame since this year the game was actually GOOD, and is now overshadowed by a breast.

Gig at Renaissance Café
On the weekend I also had a gig at the Renaissance cafe. It was for a book signing, and my band was the musical guest. It turned out to be quite packed, and we made some good money as well as exposure. It's great to get back out there and playing, since it's been about 2 months since our last gig. I've been working with a website guy on our website, and hopefully it will be up this month. I'll be sure to post the site when it goes live!

We also had a guest drummer perform with us for a few our our songs. He played the jimbaye (i'm sorry, i have no idea how to spell this one), adding in some groove and a solid beat to our stuff. It took a bit of work to get it all towork, since he was learning our stuff on the fly. Despite problems with accelerating tempo, i think we managed well -- From the audience members that i've talked to they didn't seem to notice it too much, and that's what truely matters! Once a drummer is with us more often, we should be bang on the click in no time.

Bday party
On the weekend I also went to a friend's bday party. It was good times, with tons and tons of food! It was a classic filipino dinner, buffet style. Because my friend lives out in Scarborough, i'm usually late arriving. But this time I was there in the afternoon, and got to eat the dinner HOT!, as they were coming out of the kitchen. Em em em!! No more sloppy seconds, this tme it's FCFS (first come first serve---arugh, accounting class is still in my mind) in my favour!

I also felt bad b/c we were planning on playing some Cranium that night. They recently purchased the game and hadn't yet broken it in yet. A few ppl were asking about it in as nice a way as possible, waiting for us to get it going.. and before we knew it, we had made a KICKASS chill CD, smoked a few, and were testing in out in his room.. (my picture doesn't work.. pretend it's here)

..oops, it was then suddenly 6 a.m. and they left.. I still feel bad b/c i know ppl were looking forward to it.. so next time I hope to make it up to everyone!

Wow, that was quite an eventful weekend. time to take a break, but wait, it's Monday... heh.

take care,

RE

"eat drink and be merry"

So last week during the brutal weather I had a random phone call from a friend whom I just met about a month or so ago. He's the guy who i talked about in an entry where I have about five 2nd degree connections with, who went to NT high school in his younger years.

Off To... what else but..!
Anyway, he's going away for a half year to (what else) teach english in Asia. What a great thing for so many ppl to do: You get to travel and explore the world and getting financed for it. You're also giving back by helping people learn the dominant language, assisting in future development and competitiveness in the global marketplace. Who am i kidding, it pays pretty well and you can party!

Last week we went to the Timothy's Café by my house, near Yonge and Lawrence, just before the grotesque Super Pet sign. As I said, it was during the crazy snowstorm, so i appreciated him making the effort to come to my neck of the woods, from wherever he lives.

It's funny b/c i've only met up him two times, and it feels like we should have known each other for much longer. He has many of the similar traits as myself, and it's very easy to chat with him, b/c we can relate on many levels: asian, music (e.g. he likes Death Cab!), hilarous gay adventures, our schools, culture jamming and business. I'm a more socialist than he is, however from our discussions it seems that he has a solid understanding of the issues, and right now focusing on a career of financial success & wealth in his life: He's going to law school after he's done his 6 month teaching contract. I'm sure he'll be off to BC or Dalhousie or something like that when he gets back. Mergers and Acquisitions Law? I surely hope not :)

Anyway, life is all about timing. At least we did cross paths before he went off to his travels. I know he's got his own set of friends he's much closer to (as i have much much closer to me), but i know one day we'll meet up again... it could be one of those once every 6 months deals, or something. Who knows, it will just happen as it happens. I don't know what i'll be doing, but I do know that i'll be with the band and working somewhere....! We'll see.

...it just goes to show that you never think the 'what could have been' until it can't be anymore.

Grass is greener eh? And no, get your mind out of the gutter, im not interested in him in THAT way! :P. Who knows, it could turn out that we totally don't mesh and it's just from my own assumptions, filling in what I don't know about him. It could have all been a front, and it would have been more apparent had we met up more!

It makes me really be grateful for my own past few months, b/c i have been doing a lot of reconnecting and strengthening of relationships since coming back in September. I would be very hardpressed to leave, since i've only begun to really develop my close social network of friends!

Take care,

RE

"Say hello and wave goodbye" -m.almond