It's official. I am now a quarter century old, as of April 21, 2005. As usual, it feels the same as being 24, which felt the same as 23. Funny thing is, I’ve felt like I’m 23 since I turned that age. Weird eh? Am I going to be stuck in the 23-year old mindset for the next 3 years?

I celebrated my bday week mostly by going out for dinner with friends and family.

Banquet Dinner
To kick it off, I had a Chinese banquet dinner with 9 other friends. It was a great deal: $200 for 10 ppl includes a 10-course Chinese dinner, 10 pops, taxes and tip. Cash only of course. What a great deal. The food was good, except that we did "splurge" by getting some bowls of rice. Examples of food were Peking duck, Tofu sheets with baby bok choy, stir fried fillet of sole, crispy silver fish and chicken and of course noodles. Not bad eh?

After the dinner we went downtown to Andy Poolhall’s to hang out for a few drinks and play some pool. It’s a small little trendy place, with a diverse older 28-32 crowd there. Some of the ladies had a some questionable outfits, unless you think matching hot pink bra, knee high pink leather boots, gloves and hula skirts is “in”!!

I was celebrating the bday dinner with another friend of mine who's bday was 2 weeks before mine. It was very hard to combine both groups of friends, espeically at a bar downtown and that they're from the 'burbs and don't come down often. It was a typical going out kind of night but for the other group it was very foreign and uncomfortable vs. their suburban home/local bar. Downtown toronto is pretty fast paced and can be very trendy at times. All my toronto friends (incl. myself) enjoyed themselves (probably b/c it was their usual environment), so that's a good thing at least. Ah well. I know for next time not to integrate disparate groups all at once for my bday celebration! Luckily my queer set of friends didn't come out to this one, or else we'd have 3 worlds colliding! :).

Vegetarian Hippiness

On Monday my friend took me downtown to Le Commensal, a buffet-style fine vegetarian restaurant. Among us was Moby, sitting right beside us, which added to the experience. The food was great and it was amazing to have all the foods labeled VERY clearly for you, so you what you can and can’t eat.

After the dinner we went to a mysterious place (well, mystery to me), which turned out to be ANI DiFRANCO live @ the Hummingbird Centre. It was INCREDIBLE. I have known that Ani is a great performer, songwriter, activist and all around musician, but I never could imagine how breathtaking her show was. The mainstream public views her as “man-eating lesbian music,” which I find appalling. Let’s see:

1) She’s not a lesbian.
2) She’s not man-eating.

She is actually bisexual, and for those naïve and sheltered individuals out there, it’s different from begin lesbian because you are attracted to BOTH sexes. And by default, since she is attracted to males, then would she be man-eating? Would she have a male stand-up bass player with her at the show (btw, it was just her and Todd for the entire show)? And even if she was lesbian, why would it matter?

Sure, she’s an activist and fights for women’s rights. She IS against the male-dominated patriarchal system that governs our society. She did sing cursing a guy she as going out with, cheating on her with another woman and pretending like nothing was wrong. But how many emo/screamo/alt-rock songs sung by pop-punky looking guys yelling about how their heart has been stomped on and ripped apart by a girl he was dating? Are they woman-eating misogynist assholes or just whiners?

Anyway, so many people are missing out of incredible music because of their close-minded conditioning. I bet no one knows anything about her except the “man-eating lesbian” part – I did not feel threatening at all during the entire show as a male in the audience. And if you’re thinking “but he’s gay, it doesn’t count!” you need much more education than from this little blog!

Back to the show. It was just Ani and Todd playing an acoustic show. It was so amazing to see a female guitar player who was REALLY playing serious guitar. She is a great player! Wow! And she even performed some spoken word that was actually REAL spoken word… NOT the kind you’d see from open mics @ your local university grad pub. Her delivery was rhythmic, definitive and driving, captivating the audience from the get go. Amazing show.

Fressen
On my actual birthday I went to FRESSEN, a downtown vegetarian/vegan fine dining restaurant with my family. This was an experience to say the least, since my parents are really only used to eating at Chinese restaurants. They asked where I wanted to go, and after refusing my answer for the usual, I caved and said that I did want to go to FRESSEN.

Overall it was a bit of a disaster b/c my sister got a serious allergic reaction (plus other family members claimed “tingling in the tongue”), my dad purposely ate before hand and did not order anything (he did nibble though), and my aunt’s response to the dinner was “Let’s go for Chinese next time ok!!” Ah well. SBF told me that it is OK to expect skepticism because it is a new experience for them. As with anyone, when you’re in a foreign environment you can feel a timid and on guard. But in this case, some of the comments did go a bit overboard and got tiring at the end. BUT the silver lining in all of this was that my other aunt LOVED it and of all things I didn’t get sick from the food!

I really have to hang out with my Aunt more – she’s really cool and up for eating at funky vege restaurants. I’ll definitely give her a call sometime to go out just with her somewhere.

Monsoon
The next dinner was with SBF. A one-on-one surprise dinner at Monsoon. I’ve wanted to go there for sometime. It’s a very trendy a la mode Asian fusion restaurant in the club district downtown. Boy was it nice! It reminded me of the sushi place I went to in Chicago with my company. The atmosphere was very Zen, using wood with black and transparent overlay accents. The food was incredible (of course). Highlights were the taro chips, dim sum for 2 appetizer (see picture 1), tofu fries and pan seared tuna (second picture). I was very impressed. I would just go down for some tofu fries anyday!


Joons
Finally the last 2 friends (they were sick the weekend of Andy Poolhall) too me out for dinner on Saturday. They asked me where I wanted to go and I replied with Korean. Not the trendy grill houses, as I’ve done that before and it being overly beef/pork centric, but a restaurant in the heart of Korean town.

The dinner was totally Korean, with kimchee and spicy chicken dishes to match. The food had a home-cooked feel. On the chicken dish (cooked in front of you on a burner), they poured the noodles that you’d get from Japanese instant noodle packs! My one friend LOVED that :)! He couldn’t eat enough!

So that was my bday week. It had it’s up and downs, and over all it was great. What made it better was that I got a call back from a non-profit on a marketing job! Woo hoo! The interview is this week. I need to brush up on my behavourial based interview skills. I should have some new stories to fill in the “give me a time when…” from my current job!

Take care,

RE

“eat drink and be merry”

I had a quite and eventful week. The day after my barium test (see post below) I went to Quebec for a presentation and back to Toronto the next day. On Friday, I went out with some friends to check out THE WEAKERTHANS.

It was a solid show, although too short. I remember writing about a show that i saw them perform at last year, when i saw a sign @ Future Bakery saying it was TONIGHT, so litterally walked right over to the show :). This time, however, was quite the opposite b/c i had my ticket bought 2 months in advance!

I don't get into the details of the show (as i tend to blab on about), except that they were bang on, and that my friend recognized the bass player as one of the servers at a local pub he goes to a lot! Cool eh? Apparnetly he gets paid $200 a night to play bass for the band. Not bad eh? I think that was a little while ago, b/c now he's a FT member. Not sure how he's compensated now. Benefit plan? Life Insurance? :)

After the show we decided to head upstairs to the Dance Cave - i did feel old b/c i didn't reconize some of the tunes. That's ok.. they weren't great :). But they did play some 90s repetoire like Sabotage, Wonderwall and Common People.

On Saturday it was one of my friends' going away party @ the Green Room. I love that place. It's got the electic artsy vibe, and the saucy servers to match. Unbenownst to me, this gathering was also to celebrate her Bday as well, which was cool. It was a late night similar to Friday because after we left there at 2AM we went for some late night chinese grub.

And can i say how shocked i am that New Ho's had a line up at 3AM? Dude, New Ho isn't THAT good; it's just cheap greasy chinese food. Emphasize CHEAP :). Nonetheless, still a great place to grab a $4.25 late night dish. Anyway, I was way to hungry to wait in line at 3 AM for food, so we literally walked down the street and walked to another place to eat.

It reminds me of Lee Garden. What a WASTE of money. I used to go there when i was tall, and since they moved the prices skyrocketed. $14 for chicken fried rice? Screw that. The white man got wind of the place and now it's the mecca of Chinese cuisine on Spadina. Ah well. We move on to new places.

Take care,

RE

"eat drink and be merry"

I had the barium enema last Monday and it wasn't nearly as bad as i thought it would be! Basically they insert a very small tube up your rectum, pour in some barium and take some pictures. The whole thing was under 20 mins. I had read all these testimonials about the test, from people warning how painfully difficult it was and how it was a "humbling experience". Sure, a barium enema isn't an everyday test, but it's not the end of the world!

I had freaked myself out the night before reading some posts online. But then i realized that the people writing the comments about the post were mostly guys. Ok, i don't want to be one of those gay activists who blame everything on homophobia, but this time I am of the position that our society's inherent apprehension of the rectum plays a factor here. What's with guys and their deep-rooted aversion to anything to do with their bum? This ‘scary-bum’ ideology is taught in conjunction with the anti-homophobic sentiments: “Exit only” comments come to mind here.

This is similar to the intense fear guys have of jail. No, not because of the food, or the uncomfortable beds. It's male rape. For the first time in their lives, men have lost control of their environment with bigger and badder guys in jail who want some sex. When in jail, you better find a friend and never and NEVER walk by yourself alone in secluded areas. If you don’t you’re asking for it. Oh wait, does this sound famililar to anyone? How about how most women feel ALL THE TIME in cities! Oh shit, let’s pour on the pity for the guy who can now potentially get raped while in jail for a year and give him big hugs for surviving through it. Great, now he's back to the domain he controls again.

OK – I’m being dramatic here, b/c clearly jail time is scary and I’m terrified of it for many reasons in addition to getting raped. But I’m stumbling onto some here. All women know "the rules", and some feel scared all the time. Some of the basic rules are never to walk alone at night or wear clothing that “asks for it” to entice male predators. I take my hat off to women in this respect. I take for granted that I can just jump out in Toronto and go out at 2AM without thinking about too much beyond the odd drunken asshole or drivers running red lights (depending on the area of course). I don’t think “oh man, I better be careful that I don’t get jumped and violated by a woman behind Fez Batik on Adelaide.

If guys can’t peer in the shoes of a woman to understand, they should use the fear they feel if they were in jail to get a sense. And dudes, lighten up about your ‘sacred’ rear end. Did you know that the area is LOADED with nerves? If you just open your mind and fight your male gender conditioning, you may be able to find new and exciting adventures with your partner to touch and explore. :)

As for the barium test as a ‘humbling and most terrible experience’? Cry me a freaking river Mr. Macho Man. Don't worry, you can excessively pound your wife, eat bloody steaks and down a 6-pack of Blue when you get home to reclaim your manhood.

RE

“eat drink and be merry”

Well, it’s about 12:45 AM on April 4, and I’m about to head for the second round of Barium Testing @ 9AM. This one involved 2 days of a clear liquid only diet as pre-work. Boy, I thought my natural foods diet was bad! This has been horrible! The first day was the worst, since I was hungry as soon as I got up on Saturday. Drinking clear juices, broth and tea got VERY old by nightfall. I was getting urges to puke and the shakes.

Day 2 was a bit better, but rough since this day involved drinking 1 bottle of Magnesium Citrate laxative as well as taking laxative pills 2 hrs after that. Boy, that did the trick of clearing out ANYTHING left in my digestive tract! I feel as clean as ever baby, with my pipes cleaned! :)

So hopefully tomorrow won’t be too intense. Last week was brutal due to the reaction I had to the barium in my system (see last post). I don’t know if it will be worse because my stomach is now totally raw and clear. I’ve had my second thoughts about doing all this next test, but since I’m already almost there, I might as well do it. If these tests are negative, then I think it’s about time to throw in the towel.

The naturopath has helped me dearly through the past 10 months of conventional medicine waiting/testing, as I have now more often and regular bowel movements, less pain and even gaining weight! I know this is good weight since I’ve been on a quite a low fat/natural diet over the past 4 months. To be honest, my conventional medicine stomach doc has been useless because he hasn’t given me any diagnosis or advice on what I should be doing/eating since I started last spring/summer. I have been the one bringing up suggestions to help my stomach and questions on testing for certain stomach illnesses. IT SHOULD BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND!

After this set I’m to switching stomach doctors. I kinda have to anyway b/c he’s leaving anyway, which is a good thing for him.

Ok, off to bed. Wish me luck, and no stabbing pains afterward!

(fingers crossed)

RE

"(eat) drink and be merry"