I had the barium enema last Monday and it wasn't nearly as bad as i thought it would be! Basically they insert a very small tube up your rectum, pour in some barium and take some pictures. The whole thing was under 20 mins. I had read all these testimonials about the test, from people warning how painfully difficult it was and how it was a "humbling experience". Sure, a barium enema isn't an everyday test, but it's not the end of the world!

I had freaked myself out the night before reading some posts online. But then i realized that the people writing the comments about the post were mostly guys. Ok, i don't want to be one of those gay activists who blame everything on homophobia, but this time I am of the position that our society's inherent apprehension of the rectum plays a factor here. What's with guys and their deep-rooted aversion to anything to do with their bum? This ‘scary-bum’ ideology is taught in conjunction with the anti-homophobic sentiments: “Exit only” comments come to mind here.

This is similar to the intense fear guys have of jail. No, not because of the food, or the uncomfortable beds. It's male rape. For the first time in their lives, men have lost control of their environment with bigger and badder guys in jail who want some sex. When in jail, you better find a friend and never and NEVER walk by yourself alone in secluded areas. If you don’t you’re asking for it. Oh wait, does this sound famililar to anyone? How about how most women feel ALL THE TIME in cities! Oh shit, let’s pour on the pity for the guy who can now potentially get raped while in jail for a year and give him big hugs for surviving through it. Great, now he's back to the domain he controls again.

OK – I’m being dramatic here, b/c clearly jail time is scary and I’m terrified of it for many reasons in addition to getting raped. But I’m stumbling onto some here. All women know "the rules", and some feel scared all the time. Some of the basic rules are never to walk alone at night or wear clothing that “asks for it” to entice male predators. I take my hat off to women in this respect. I take for granted that I can just jump out in Toronto and go out at 2AM without thinking about too much beyond the odd drunken asshole or drivers running red lights (depending on the area of course). I don’t think “oh man, I better be careful that I don’t get jumped and violated by a woman behind Fez Batik on Adelaide.

If guys can’t peer in the shoes of a woman to understand, they should use the fear they feel if they were in jail to get a sense. And dudes, lighten up about your ‘sacred’ rear end. Did you know that the area is LOADED with nerves? If you just open your mind and fight your male gender conditioning, you may be able to find new and exciting adventures with your partner to touch and explore. :)

As for the barium test as a ‘humbling and most terrible experience’? Cry me a freaking river Mr. Macho Man. Don't worry, you can excessively pound your wife, eat bloody steaks and down a 6-pack of Blue when you get home to reclaim your manhood.

RE

“eat drink and be merry”