Am I a trailer? Am I one of those guys who just trails the end of conversations and group discussions?

Forgive the Seinfield-esque intro, but over my company Christmas Party (i.e. open bar, confined areas and drunken signing) I noticed something. Unless I was literally shouting and straining my vocals, not a word of what I said was being conveyed and registering. It just trailed off into the shroud of noise collecting above the bar. The funny thing is, I could hear their conversations.

I was quite perplexed by this, and of course this hypersensitivity and internal thought process was later heightened by some weed, and it lead me to wonder what was going on. Then, a possible solution hit me - they just want to talk for the sake of talking!

During their pauses I think that it's a moment for me to speak, but actually, it's just them taking a breath and recoating their throat for being so dry from talking so long. When the esophagus is rewetted, lungs are back as full capacity; they're back at it. This happens especially when I chat it up with the cabbies.

I guess it's a need for people just to talk. It's Toronto, high in independence and manifest destiny, and thus loneness and anomie effects ensue. People do want to express their thoughts and can't often - In bar situations, so many people are trying to express their thoughts at each other, like 2 buckets of water crashing head on. If one was empty the other could easily pour more in. I guess b/c in general I am more a listener, it just eggs people on to talk even more.

Thinking about it, I don't think I’d rather have it the other way. I know people mean well so it can be really comical at times. I should test this and just say a completely random comment, and see if they react! At times I wish I could be as sociable in big and loud environments as so many of the other extraverts, at least for 1 month to see what it would be like!

Bah, I enjoy being the listener; sometimes when I make comments FOR THE SAKE of making a statement, this adds no value whatsoever to the conversation. I'd say it's just as bad as a work laugh. When I CAN and WANT to add something of value in, I just hope people are there to at least listen and reciprocate that, which in general they do!

AND THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is where alcohol comes in to ruin it for me! There goes the tact in others, and it's about shouting louder to be heard. Who knows, it can be something else that I haven't figured out, and I don't care to put anymore thought than I have on this (coincidentally as I’m coming down). Where’s a group of pot smokers (and of course non-smoking, chillaxed, open-minded, thought provokers and not to mention solid active listeners) to discuss this with when you need ‘em eh??

Take care,

The Trailer