I have tiff with TIFF; that's right, the "prestigious" and "world renowned" Toronto Film Festival.

On Saturday my uncle won free tickets to the last showing at TIFF. It was a "gala" event, showcasing the final movie at the festival. It was one called "Jiminy Glick goes to Lalaland". The movie wasn't that great, but that's besides the point of this entry.

As I arrived 1 hour before the show, there was already quite a rush line as well as ticket holders line. I found my uncle and we went right in. He won the passes off the radio, and we got to sit on the lower “right parterre” level. I felt a bit special being in this special wing, since we were right near the centre of the area. The seats were all covered with pieces of paper, saying “AGF” or “Volkswagen”. It was clear from the get-go that we didn’t belong in this area, b/c everyone was all dressed up in full suits or ballroom attire. As we sat down I became more and more overwhelmed by the fact that

1. All people in the lower area were dressed up bond style
2. They were all white
3. Most had seats reserved for them so they strolled in late

We arrive way before anyone else in our area arrived. Just before the speech ceremonies the group of corporate AGF executives an their trophy wives came in. We were accosted by one of the execs, told that "we shouldn’t be sitting here" and in actual fact we realized that on our ticket there was "Volkswagen" written on it...So we sat a few rows behind the pretentious AGF execs.

THEN, as we sat very innocently in our new spot, I overheard someone in a suit say "I don’t think they belong here" and the usher came over to us again and asked us (very politely however) for our tickets. Upon inspection she saw that we were here legitimacy, and informed the prick.

Can you believe this!!? I was steaming. I was ready to shoot my mouth off if anyone made a remark at us or came up to me and question our “place” here. Fuck off! Just because I’m not wearing some fancy 3-piece suit, am under 35, or a trophy wife with me DOESN’T mean that I don’t have a right to be in this section. And by the way, we’re SITTING IN THE DARK so no one will notice the mother of pearl earrings or green gables broach you got from your rich Pringle ancestor! I knew they wanted us on the corner of the top balcony, away from infecting us from their pretentious bubble.

These classist, bourgeois pricks need to look themselves in the mirror --- and this time, not to pathetically try and maximize the amount of hair to bald surface area. Sitting there, trapped around these rods was suffocating me.. but I knew that my presence was irritating them even more, and that was enough satisfaction for me to stay. This is society at its worst.

And AS IF being an exec in the mutual fund / insurance industry is all the glamourous. It’s basically a self-glorified salesman. The difference between you and a car salesman is that you call up rich people and say “hey, buy this stock.”. And NO, taking rich people to golf, shi-shi restaurants, or box seats at sports games DOESN’T mean YOU’RE rich yourself. Sorry bud, but you’re just posing and trying SO FUCKING HARD to be like them. It’s gross. The rich people know it, but they don’t mind it since you’re paying for everything anyway! Newsflash, you’re buying their friendship, and yes, they CAN tell that you’re wearing a suit you got during the bankruptcy sale at Tip Top Tailors. And no, driving a fancy car and living in a big home in a suburban area ISN’T classy when it’s all owned by your company – you’re not just a glorified salesman, but more like a glorified hooker.

Hell, there’s nothing wrong w/getting some free shit from you company, but it DOESN’T give you the right to put your nose up at “riff raff” who don’t have rods up their asses. I have met some very rich people, and I’ve found that for most of them you’d never even know they were loaded. One guy owns about ½ of the real estate in Barrie, and you’d never know it. You’d suggest a place to eat and he’d say, “Ah no, it’s just to overpriced there."

OKOK, so without some of these sponsors like AGF / ___ Bank / ___ Car company / ___ Card, the Film Festival may not be here. I now understand the purpose of these GALAS – appease the sponsors by staging a pretentious production: Charge $30 per movie screening, hold at a classy venue, whip up some “emotional” speeches, bribe a few celebs, and of course have a long list of thank you. After that’s over, then they’ll get out of your hair and the real festival can move on (at all the other locations).

So now I know, don’t bother with the galas. Or at least stay in the top sections where there regular people hang out. I’ve learned my lesson. Galas are for pricks!

Take care,

RE

“eat drink and be merry”