I have some great news--I'm going to NYC for the weekend! I took of Aug 26, 27 and 30 to equal 5 days off. It will be the longest since I started working here at my job. I will be sure to write all about the experience. Where will we go? As many areas as possible, i hope! I'm not into the really toursity places, so i think we'll try and keep them to a minimum (I do want to see the emipre state building, time square and central park, but places like Ground zero / Statue of Liberty has no major appeal to me right now).

I want to check out places like the MET as well as the Guggenheim. Of course there's places like SOHO, Broadway District, and Grenwich Village (the queer area).

I hope it will be a great trip; I'm sure i'll only get to see a part of it, and i'll gain more experience for the next trip there! :)

Take care,

RE

"Eat drink and be merry"

Last weekend I went to a wedding with SBF. It was one of his good friends from engineering who was getting married. It was an interracial non-religious wedding held downtown, and also the first time i've ever gone as a 'queer couple'.

I wasn't sure how it would all pan out, but over all i'd say that everything went well. I got to meet lots more of my SBF's engineering friends, as well as get into their kind of geek humour :). The bride and bride's maids were absolutely georgous. They were wearing stunning blue asian dresses, while the bride had a poppy red asian dress of the similar cut and design. I couldn't get over how incredible they looked, and it was clear that these women could wear this dress outside of the wedding! A bonus for sure.

One interesting change to this wedding was their means to get the newlyweds to kiss. Rather than the average (and annoying) clinging of the glasses, family and friends had to write a Haiku that had to do with the newly weds. Some of the entries were quite hilarious, and I was especially impressed how each person prefaced each Haiku with a quick few word to give it context - this was especially helpful to keep us all in the loop from inside jokes.

The menu of the wedding was, shall i say, not exactly me-centric :). Please note that I am lactose intolerant and am allergic to melons:

Cream of Asparagus
Lettuce with Cantelope and Honey Dew Melon
Ballotine of Chicken w/ Mustard Cream Sauce
Irish Cream Cheesecake

After struggle through the first dish (just fishing out the pieces of asparagus), I was told that there was an alternate menu for me, since I wrote on the RSVP card about my food restrictions. Funny, since the impatient server was not very happy with my request -- at first he pushed back at me and told me there was no such thing as alternate dishes. After making me feel like a high maintenance angry vegan lesbian, he finally went back to check... And voila, out came my alternate foods. It wasn't much different - they literally just removed the cream sauces from all the dishes! And the alternative for the cheesecake? Cantelope, Honeydew and Pineapples! heheh. It figures with my luck!

Nonetheless the food was good and most of all the atmosphere was merry. Smiles were all around and the union between a asian woman and white male couldn't have been more accepting. The only downer was that SBF and I were not allowed to slow dance or show any PDA together. It was a request that was given beforehand by the bride b/c she had intolerant asian relatives there and they didn't want us to cause any issues. It started was just after being invited by the DJ to dance at the end of the bride/groom's initial dances. All the couples convened on the floor while we had to sit out on the sidelines. Yes, I felt hurt, but what can i say, I guess it wasn't our place. And I keep forgetting about being in a queer relationship until moments like this.

What made it worse was how a few friends asked SBF why we just sat there.. After being told why, they understood. Apart of me then missed my own friends from being at the wedding, like my buddy "Lovely Lady"...Lovely Lady PART II would come out, see me looking a bit sad, suddenly explode with raging fury, bitchout like no tomorrow, then after the emotions flare down give each other a big hug (it can be validating and humourous at the same time). Ah well. Meh. Bah. I didn't want to make scene. And all of us have endured much worse, that's for sure!

Other than that, i had a good time. I was getting tired of the "het-fest", so later that night we decided to hit church street to feel an ounce of normalicy again. It did the trick - we ran into exboyfriends we didn't want to see, biker lesbians and old men giving us creepy stares... And I couldn't have been happier :)

Take care,

RE

"eat drink and be merry"

Last week I was helping someone housesit the other day b/c they were away for that night. I had to feed the cat, clean the cat litter, empty the dehumidifier, water plants, etc. It was a house just down the street from mine, and the family had been away for about 2 weeks.

When I got to the front porch at around 8 PM after work the entire house was dark. As soon as I opened the door the cat was meowing and coming towards me—she was starving!! I quickly turned on the lights and went to the kitchen where there was some canned cat food ready to be opened. The cat was so anxious it placed its head over in the empty bowl while I put food in. I could barely put the food into the bowl!

My insides gorged with guilt as 20/20 hindsight filled my head: “I should have come earlier! / Why didn’t I come before work? / I should have let the cat out in the morning”..

The thoughts suddenly shifted to questioning the official house sitter’s competence: “Has the cat been left alone for a long time?" "Was the cat ever let out?" "Did she play with her?" "Has the cat been left in the dark the entire time?"

After the waves of paranoia, anger, guilt, contempt and sadness (in no particular order) subsided, I quickly got all the other chores done. After the cat scarfed down the food, she came over and started to give me the big sob eye (see example photo). To top it off, she started to nestle on my hand and snuggle around me. It was too much—the poor cat was lonely!

Don’t people realize that cats and dogs have feelings? Leaving them in a dark house for weeks doesn’t do anyone-nor any animal-any good. YES, I know, cat’s are independent and self serving and blah blah, but hey, that doesn’t mean total isolation is their dream come true. Perhaps those setereotypes are there just to make humans feel better when they abandon their pet for a few weeks while they’re at Disney Land or vising the in-laws. Who knows! It just bothers me that we can’t seem to realize that cats have any emotions or feelings; They know they’re left alone. C'mon here people!!

Just like humans, Cats can develop disorders. Par example, a smaller cat born in a large litter can be traumatized from starving for food because s/he can’t beat out the other bigger kittens from feeding on the mother. An eating disorder can develop and even when it gets older, the cat will eat ANYTHING you give them. They’re so paranoid they’ll starve as they did in their younger years. So as an owner you have to make sure you a) regulate it’s eating b) monitor the quantity of food you’re providing or else the cat will become obese.

Of course, it does take a professionally trained vet to diagnose any of these sorts of things, and I don’t think this cat had anything wrong with it besides lonliness.. It looked very old because it moved in slow, lethargic steps and it’s meow sounded tired.

Ah well. I ended up coming back to play with the cat again later that night, and thankfully the owners were coming back home the next day. I just hope that people realize that cats, dogs and other domesticated animals can’t be "put away on the shelf" when they don’t feel like taking care of them!

Take care,

RE

“eat drink and be merry”

Would I ever become a Wal-Mart mom? Let's say in 10 years and for some reason or another, I've got a kid or 2. Would I become a Wally Mom?

As I was sitting on the TTC the other day, I saw a few very cute little kids and got the usual "warm and fuzzy" feeling b/c they were so adorable. Thoughts then raced into my head as I saw the accompanying Wal-Mart Moms with them. Oh no, is this given? In order to be parent do you have to transform yourself into a super mom, and the Wally qualities accompanying it?"

Let me define what I mean by this and what I’m imagining myself to be; My Top Ten Signs that I have Become a Wal-Mart Mom.

1. I’m wearing free t-shirts from random city hall festivals, corporate events or better I don't even remember where they came from.
   
2. On top of that t-shirt, I’ve got a grey sweatshirt with kid puke stains on the upper left shoulder. You can see the chipping "TORONTO" or "CANADA" + Image of city silkscreen imprint on the front. The shirt is baggy under the arms, and so big on the back that I can be the sail on a boat by pulling the back of my shirt.
   
3. I have aviator or mega-round glasses, which are a little bent from when Tara (my kid) tried to eat it during her teething stage a year ago. It's either that new Malibu Barbie set or my glasses, so it's clear what my priorities are.
   
4. My hair. Gosh, what happened? I've got a shaggy Top Cuts hair cut with old faded highlights. Why use product? Baby shit and product scents just don't mix well together.
   
5. I have replaced my side bag with a behemoth pampers / baby bottle / blanket / everything you'll ever need for any occasion or baby crisis bag. It's mostly full of pampers diapers though, b/c the kids shit and piss a lot when they’re out of the house.

On that note, what's with diapers anyway? They have "product innovations" every freaking 4 months. How about finding a way to make them biodegrade just a tad faster, say LESS THAN 100 YEARS!? It's ironic how we've created a shitting rag that is used for only a few hours, from someone who never even realizes the "innovation" behind the rag, and after disposal takes countless decades just to destroy. Innovation my ass, Proctor and Gamble! (Pun not intended). OK. Back to my list.

6. I am in big debt due to all the childhood expenses, lease and mortgage payments I have to make. That’s OK though, since all my Oprah book club friends (who I suspect are also highly leveraged) think that I am well off.
   
7. Coupons, of course a coupon book! I have my trusty coupon book wherever I go, updated and maintained during my 8 AM Sunday morning flyer & tea time. I also get tonnes of information on the latest door crashers from the shoestring shopper online newsletter. It’s great though because Susan and I take turns lining up at 7 AM for the estee lauder and P&G door crashers.
   
8. As I’m shopping for all my Christmas presents and décor at Wal-Mart, I run into a friend and all I talk about are the kids. “Oh, yesterday when Tara was walking she fell on her head. HAHAHAHAHAHAA” or “I am so tired Susan, I only got 2 hours of sleep!...Yes, I know I told you about this everyday for the past 6 months, but today it’s really bad!” And of course redirect all attempts to change the subject, BACK to the kids: “Oh, you went to the AGO with an old college friend? That’s nice. As I drove by there a few weeks ago Tara was in the funniest mood. She wanted McDonalds but after I saw “not until after we go to the drycleaners” she sobbed and sobbed like her father does when he wants a taste when I’m cooking dinner. It was cute.”
   
9. I think I can take the kids grocery shopping with me. With my right hand I wheel around one kid on the shopping cart; with the left arm I’m carrying the other kid. It’s a tough time when the kids are out of control (sneaking snacks in the cart) especially when I’m angry because it’s pork chop night and the pork shops aren’t on sale like the Loblaws Sunday flyer had told me. What’s worse is that regular Coke products are on sale, but Diet Coke. I’m on a diet, and they’re going to force me take regular coke? Another Wal-Mart mom looks at me with a sympathetic smile as I grasp onto a momentary escape from the everyday - then Tara pukes again on my left shoulder. A nasty sight indeed.
   
10. The sex sucks. Bad. I have to mention this, since we all know a) Frequency and b) Quality of sex is inversely related to kids. I can visualize the pathetic x- and y-axis graph in my head right now. What will it be, may be once a month? Try once a season!!

So those are my top ten signs that I have become a Wal-Mart mom. OKOK, I know I’m exaggerating because I do love kids, but you’ve got to wonder: Is this an inevitable fate for me as it has for many parents in this day and age? Or rather, will I be the King Street never-at-home Finance Father whose function is to pay off the bills and cook streaks on the BBQ?

Rather than stressing about this any further, I have come to a temporary solution to these problems:

I will be the cool uncle or godfather!!

Take care,

RE

“eat drink and be merry”

Last weekend (Aug 7) I went down to the Toronto Islands, specially Olympic Island for a Canadian Music Festival. It was a concert consisting of only local Cdn talent, mostly from Toronto and Montreal. Bands performing were Broken Social Scene, Sloan, Sam Roberts, The Stills, Constantines, Pilate, Buck 65, The Archade Fire and Death From Above.

I was there to mainly see BSS, which turned out to be incredible. It was DAMN close, b/c by the time all of us got together and rushed to the Ferry and through security, it was 3:10 PM... EXACTLY when they ended up starting. Anyway, BSS is a local project from members from such bands as Metric, By Divine Right and Stars that started i think 3 years ago and has blown up to insane indie proportions. What amazed me most was that there were 8-10 musicians on stage at once for each song. For one song they had 5 guitars, 1 bass, 1 drum, 2 vocals and synth keys. It was CRAZY. You'd think the resulting output would be absolute noise, but it was completely the opposite. It was an incredible experience.

The whole set felt like the end of a benefit concert when all the musicians come on stage to perform a few songs all together.. heh. They were all having fun onstage, with lots of respect and love for one another. I have to admit that the resultant stage presence was lacking a bit, but the amazing music they created made up for it ten fold.

Speaking of love, that was the general sentiment of the festival. I loved how it was very chill and warm hearted. There was no rushing the stage, moshing or pushing. For example, at the last song for the Stills set, the drummer from BSS came on stage to take place of the Stills drummer - he was now going to sing this last song. He prefaced the song by saying (paraphrasing):

"Do you see this shirt? It's a picture of me and Andrew (singer/guitars for BSS). We just got married a few weeks ago, and I want to dedicate this song to him"

Andrew came on stage and accompanied singing this song with his new husband. I commend those who have the courage to publically announce a) they're queer and b) they're recently married to thousands of people. It was quite a great sight to see. At the end of the song, the 2 left the stage first and i saw them give each other a big hug and kiss on the cheek, which made me think of my SBF and wished he was there with me.

Anyway, after the 2 singers left the stage, each member of the band left one after another, slowly stripping down the down one layer at a time: Vocals -> Keys -> Guitar 1 ->Bass ->Guitar 2 (also the lead singer for the rest of the songs). Guitar 2 stayed on stage even after stopping and watched the BSS drummer keeping the last part of the music going. He then slowly walked up just in front of the drums, and in a split second the drummer stopped and they both stood and reached over the drums to give each other a big hug.

GOTTA LOVE CDN LOVE!!!

Watching SLOAN was a walk down high school memory lane. Man, for some reason it reminded me of the lead singer of my old garage band, especially during Money City Maniacs. It was a greatest hits set, b/c i think i recongnized 95% of the songs they did, which ranged from Money City, California, The Good In Everyone and the one with the horns: "ba, ba-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da" :P

Over all it was a great festival. All he musicians kept saying how relaxed and comfortable they were, sharing the stage with fellow CDN acts. All the bands that i saw were very good and musicians periodically came on stage to sing/play during each others' performance (e.g. BSS drummer for the Stills). Even K-OS made an appearance on stage and did a little improv rap during Sam Roberts' "Brother Down". I have a bit of an issue with good ol Sammy, but that is for another post :P.

I went with with a friend from NXNE and met a whole bunch of her friends, plus running into a few of mine while i was there. It was great to hang out and meet some very cool people, and i should be seeing some of them in the next few weeks too. It was a great time had by all!

I hope they do another CDN rock fest next year, so i can look forward to going again sometime soon!

Take care,

RE

"eat drink and be merry"