On Friday night i was very excited because I was planning on going to see a small intimate show with the band Pilate. They're an up and coming Toronto homegrown band, now getting serious rotation on radiostations. Pilate can be described as an emotive alternative pop band, with heavy influences from Coldplay and old Radiohead.

Anyway, I became a fan just as they got their first song on edge102. I heard about them 2 years ago, and last year i went to an indie music festival called North by North East (NXNE). That's where I started to really get into them, and within a few months I heard them on edge102 and the rest is history!

I went down with a friend to see them perform at the University of Waterloo. yes, ladies and gentlemen, that means me driving back to my favourite dead end industrial town, Waterloo! The weather didn't help either, b/c it was a serious snowstorm. I was leaving our pollution-heated city, and so it only got worse. At one point the snowflakes were to huge that it looked like a trippy screensaver like the one on windows95 where you're flying through space. It was hard to concentrate on the road because of this bloody distraction. Miss Mazda's headlights didn't help either, since the light from other cars were the primary sources of visibility for me.

We got there in one piece and went to the show... As we arrived, we heard some hip hop, so we were a bit saddened since we assumed that we missed Lesley Pike, a great new singer/songwriter whom I've seen a few times and have shared the stage with. We assumed that they were just playing some in-house CD's while the band was setting up.

As we were being greeted at the door, I double checked by asking if Pilate was playing.

"Pilate? oh they already played"

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah, they played from 4 - 6 or something"

"WHAT!?"

WTF?! Who fucking plays a pub show at 4:00 p.m.?! What, you want to make sure you get in time for evening tea? Need to make sure you can catch the episode of Boston Public at 8:00 p.m.? C'mon people! So i asked why... and after the answer was given, i wish it was because of Boston Public.

It was because MAESTRO was performing. So that hip hop music was HIM performing. I was wondering why there were skanky girls in basketball shirts and sailboat shorts roaming around the place. My gosh, so basically i drove through the screensaver weather all the way to Waterloo to listen to "let your backboooooone slide"

...for a cover charge of $9! HA!

There was a silver lining through all of this unfulfillment. Chris (the guy on the right), a band member from Pilate was still chilling there and came out to chat with us. He was a great guy, and totally was appreciative of us making the trek from Toronto. We chatted for a few mins (e.g. i asked about the CASBY Awards, upcoming show with David Usher), and he seemed like a really cool guy.

These guys are totally going places, so may be in a few years when they're filling the ACC and we're all totally sick to death of their songs, I'll go up to him and say "HEYMAN, i was THERE MAN, I WAS THERE way back in Waterloo that one night.. can i get some backstage passes?" :)

Well, I am planning on going to their show in Toronto with David Usher. I wasn't planning on fighting with the chicks for David usher, but since I've missed Pilate that night, i think I'll scrounge the funds to make it out.

So it wasn't a total bust. I still had a good time for the crazy road trip. I can't wait for the DMB road trip in a few weeks! it will be incredible!

...Learning my Lesson
That reminds me... for the first time since "Before These Crowded Streets" that i haven't bought a DMB album as soon as it came out. This time it was a TRIPLE DISC LIVE CD, totalling about $26 including tax.. Seeing that i'm unemployed and it was almost boxing day, i thought i could hold off until then.

BOY HAVE I LEARNED MY LESSON. My friend put on the CD and let me listen to it, and needless to say, it is probably the best live release of the album i've ever heard, 2nd to Live at Luther College (which is just Dave and his friend Tim Reynolds though). DMB played a free show (of which we were supposed to go to!) at Central Park in NYC. They performed TWENTY songs, with a guest appearance and lots of jamming. There was so much power in the music, reminding me to not mess with the best band in North America! Unstoppable man. WOW. I got so into the music that on the drive back from Waterloo to Toronto, i missed my Hwy 400 exit by 20 mins! Suddenly I saw the Avenue Rd. Exit and I thought "omg, SHIT! i have been in DMB land!!" heh.

I'm not going into the specifics of why I died over this live Cd, since i'd bore so many of you poor readers who are already on skim mode at this section of my entry. So in sum, i have learned my lesson of holding out on DMB cd releases. Geeze! I think I should go tomorrow and pick it up...!

Take care,

RE

"...could I have been in new york city!" dm @Central Park

The Harlequin interview went o.k. It was only about 45 mins long (compared to 2 hour legacy meetings I've had) with 2 interviewers. I think that I made a good impression, but not a KILLER one.

I think one of the biggest shortcomings of my interview is that i am male. Yes, it sounds very sexist, but the culture there is very feminine w/very very few men in the office. It would like if you switched the gender of parliament (heh, that would do some good!). Also, someone w/the same kind of experience but a deep passion for trashy romance novels (i.e. has a "blaze" or "desires" library on her bookshelf) has an edge on me.

I did my best to try and spin it to a competitive advantage in being male. I told them that it would be a fresh change to have a male who is interested in what they want. Rather than having just a "women for women" structure, having an open environment where everyone can celebrate women and femininity.

...worth a shot eh? :)

I spoke with the recruiter the following day, and I totally should have shut my big mouth. We spoke about the interview, and I gave her my general thoughts, but also said how I was regretful for not knowing the Silhouette line as in depth as I should have been. I had a good basic idea of their entire product line (e.g. harlequin, mira, red dress and silhouette) but not too in depth for each. Anyway, at the end she said that she knows of at least one more person who is interviewing tomorrow.

OH CRAP!

To me, this means that she's probably got someone else lined up for the 2nd interview, and will probably tell her what i said! eeeediot robb! fool!!

Of course, I don't know this for sure, but from her position, she gets her commissions based on anyone they hire from their company. She doesn't give a damn if it's me or Betty Sue, as long as it's through her. Arugh. Luckily i didn't tell her exactly WHAT questions the interviewers caused me to say that...which is this: To determine which sub-brands within Silhouette match to which general women by age demographics, basing it on what the books they showed me. It was tough, and that's why i wish i studied more of the specific Silhouette line (the one that the candidate would be working for) for the interview.

Live and learn eh? May be she didn't say anything, may be she did. What's done is done. I should be hearing from then early next week... arugh.

Take care,

RE

"My stupid mouth has gotten in trouble again..." -j.mayer

From when I left off, things seem to be getting quite busy. Even though I am technically unemployed, I feel like i'm running around and don't have time for anything. Funny eh?

I had an interview with Harlequin Publishing last week. Yes, it's the trashy romance novel publisher! When I walked in most of the employees were female, except for the HR recruiter who was male. I was actaully very nervous going into the interview. I usually get a bit nervous as I get there, but this time I was quite nervous the night before. It didn't help that I had a gig at Free Time Cafe that night as well, so concentrating on playing Saveface material as well as preparing for the interview proved to fill most of my head for those 2 days.

The FT job would be a marketing coordinator for the silouette series, which happens to be a romance series line of branded books under that label. I was quite nervous for the interview partly b/c the job description was *very* formal, for example it broke down my responsiblities by aproximate percentage of time, such as 20% financial analysis and reconciliation of budget. arugh! But in the end, the male recruiter turned out to be a very cool guy, and at the end we were just chatting. So, the next day (fri) I was called back for a 2nd interview, which is on Monday.

This one will be with the marketing manager who is the senior manager of this position. I was told that this interview will be more specific and technical... that means i need to brush up on a few of those snazzy marketing terms and contacts, and of course my previous marketing experience. I'll have to bring up some of my fav words like: Value proposition, service delivery, value-added services, best practices, understanding customer needs and transferable skils (among others). Any others I should drop? :) We'll see how it goes.. I hope she'll like me! This is a job that i actually like and can see myself being there for awhile. Fingers crossed!

Take care,

RE

"eat drink and be merry"

I had a fun filled Friday night. It was something that I didn't expect to enjoy, but in the end i was totally happy with the events of Friday evening. I know it's late monday night, but hey, cut me some slack here!

One of my friends is a mega madonna fan, and i have to admit that he is a bigger madonna fan than i am of DMB. Yes, that much! He invited me out to a "come celebrate 14 years of Madonna" party at the Tequila Lounge.

I haven't been out to a club since late August, so I thought "why not...". I have been feeling the urge to dance for some time now, so why not take this opportunity to have a little fun. So I dragged one of my friends out to come out with me, and he called a few as well, and sound the group of us went out for an all night Madonna dance party!

It was totally packed. Tequilia Lounge has recently renovated (thank goodness) the joint, so it was looking much more crisp and cleaner than before. We arrived there at around 11:30, paying a hefty $12 cover and $2 coat check - ouch. The place soon became totally packed and everyone was getting right into the music.

One thing that I was happy about was the high turnout of women. It was great to see a better balance of the sexes, rather than one small space crammed with circuit boys and sugar daddys. Most of us ran into someone we knew there (thanks to the 2 degrees of separation of the community) and in fact one of the ppl that i found had gone to high school with one of the ppl in the group that i came to the club with! wow, small world eh?

Dancing to madonna remixes turned out to be really fun. I forgot how many songs Madonna has, and how much fun they can be to dance to! One of my friends ran into a very cute and squeezable co-worker on the dancefloor too. For all this time I had pictured someone else when he was describing him at work! Now i have a much clearer and pleasant image to think about. If my friend is reading this right now, i bet he's dropping his lunch in disgust as we speak. Heheheh!

Anyway, I also met up with my big madonna friend, his bf and 2 of his other friends. It was fun to see more friendly familiar faces, and I had the opportunity to speak with one of his friends for a good chunk of the night. Although it was hard to have a decent conversation in such a loud environment, we pulled off a decent job :). He is actually one of the guys that i am interested in (see below), and a great opportunity to talk to him a bit more and get to know him better. So far things look quite positive.. one thing that i really fell for is that he is a struggling composer, just like one of my friends who composed breathtaking pieces and experimental works while studying at Laurier.. you know, one of those times when as you experience her works, you think "my gosh, i'm the same age. What have i to show for it? DANG!" kind of things. It has been hard since he didn't have the same university level training as my friend did (he took business like me), but his life before then consisted of piano, more piano, vocal and clairnet. Boy, I think everyone used to play clarinet these days! we're a dyme a dozen!

He's like me in the fact that he does have passions for music, but needs some stable business job income to finance it. But from the looks of it, he's doing well b/c he's currently composing for a TSO competition as well as co-composing something for the Royal Alex in the future. I hope he stays on it, b/c it's easy to get lost in your day job.. i'll just make sure he gets reminded if he loses track! Or at least ask him for some vocal lessons :). That reminds me, i still need to push my Laurier friend for tips on protools! heh.

So far he seems really nice, but i have yet to talk to him enough to see what's beneath it all, what lurks under the usual things we've talked about (school, friends, work, music).. what insecurites and outlooks on life lies underneath? What value does he place on trust, friendship and commitment? Who knows, and frankly, that will come when it comes, and until then, i'm just going to talk to him more and see where it takes me.

The rest of the weekend was also very fun, seeing that I went straight from the club to a friends house in Scarberia. I spent the weekend there and didn't come home until sunday at 8 p.m. Good times!! Except that i think i am getting sucked back into the video game industry. Just when i thought i "grew" out of that. But then I was baked and told to try out this game called "Mystic Heroes"... and the rest is history.

Now back to the grind of everday life...!

Take care,

RE

"eat drink and be merry"

Hey there,

So it's about 2:45 a.m. and i am back after a gig at Renaissance Cafe. I think it went over pretty well over all, and I'm happy that a lot of ppl still came out after this dreadful weather. It's inevitable eh? Ah well.

My bandmate and I played 2 sets worth of songs, averaging about 40 mins each. It was mostly original material, with a few covers to spice things up a bit. I sang a lot more than I had anticipated, seeing that I sang 2 entire songs, one of which I was completely alone performing! I know i still need to work up the confidence to sing, but I am still shocked i played "incandescent", a very emotional solo tune i wrote 2 years ago.

The crowd was really amazing and supportive. The response after "Deserve" was definitely one of the best, not just the obligitory clapping after a song is done. They are what kept me going, and let me be open and communicative to them. There were a bunch of ppl who couldn't make it, but that's ok, there are always other gigs. I know the in the future the novelty of Saveface on our friends/family will wear down, and there will be less familar faces, but hopefully a few will stay in for it. We've gotta start building a FANBASE rather than just friends of ours anyway... but hey, if a friend is a fan, than by all means come out! It will never go unappreciated, i swear!

I was very encouraged by a friend of mine's cousin who showed up. I totally didn't expect him to make it, but he took the effort (although he had a ride to/from the joint!) came to watch us perform. It was great b/c now he seemed a little more intersested in playing bass for us. It would be so incredible to have a FT bassist, not just for fun or only for gigs.. an addition to the family. I've only heard him play a few times, and I was really impressed. He could just pick up the bass and play whatever was on Edge102, and not just the basic alt-rock tunes, but also the bass oriented tunes--i specifically rememember him playing riffs along to the Chilli peppers, as well as Rage on the radio. That in and of itself is already more than we are asking, so it's all bonus to us! Anyway, we'll see how it turns out. If anything, at least we can jam somtime hopfully. The best part about him is his personality; it's not that condescending "yeah, i'm a bassist, what's it to you?".. it's more of a " hey man, dude, yeah, that's some wikked shit".. :) So relaxed and cool. Plus, he's also in love with miss MJ, so that's a definite plus!

I was also happy with my other friends who came out, due to the weather.. one gets up at like 5 a.m. the next day, and still made the trek. some from way out west, when this place is way out east. Some from way north, when this is downtown. It's great to see the actions, b/c they speak so much.

During the show, I had a little RobbRant, similar to the shit I do on this spot my blogspot, but this time in live action. It was funny, since it kinda just came out of me. I was thinking about it before, but hadn't verbally spoken about it.. until right before our final song! It was about my beef with briefs. It could be an entire entry here probably, but for those who missed it, too bad! you'll just have to come to more shows to be there for when other random shit comes out of my mouth! :)

Anyway, I am truly thankful for everyone who came out. It made my month!

Take care,

RE

"eat drink and be merry"

As of the past little while I have been, shall I say "out of commission" in terms of the whole relationship front. Besides the usual excuses, such as being busy with looking for employment, band, getting over previous hardships or just being lazy, i have just been uninterested in any sort of relationship. The only relationships would be reforging friendships with old friends, meeting some really great new people and also living my life outside of the gay bubble.

When I was talking to Andy, I realized that I hadn't been in the Church area since the beginning of September. Clubbing? Bars in the area? not really. Meh. :) I was doing more "gay" things when i was in Waterloo, and while I was there I was excited about living closer to everyone and everything. Now that it's here, I have no motivation.

Granted, a rift occurred a few months ago which deterred me from it all, but it definitely wasn't the #1 factor. After spending important time away from it all, i'm pretty much ok with all that now, and i've learned a lot from it... so why am i still unmotivated? I spoke with a friend about it, and he told me it was probably because when I first came out it was really intense, letting it all out. Now that all that is out and done with, it's now just an equal component of ourselves, somewhat similar to straight sexuality. I've been to more regular bars and out meeting some really great people, some gay, some straight some inbetween. I've had no problem with this really, it was just the things i've been doing lately.. Nothin' like helping the boys with girl problems, or even getting checked out by the ladies sometimes! :)

Today, i am happy that my sexuality isn't dominating my entire life, however, there are parts inside that still need to be expressed from time to time. My itch to go out clubbing is now starting to become intolerable, and i've missed out on a few queer events that would have been a great time. As of late, two different people that i've met recently have started to spark that inner sexual side within me again. It's been a few months, and one day suddenly i said "woah. what's that feeling robb? i wonder--- oohhh!".

It has begun again! Life is all about cycles, and i guess after a period of remission, it's back on the increase. These two people whom i've been talking to seem to be not only cool people (similar to the new and old friends i've been hanging out with as of late) but i'm also starting to become sexually attracted to them! It's nothing HUGE, but it's something, which is already encouraging for me. Even if nothing becomes of either of them, at least I had something on the go, and i'm still expressing that side which i have forgot about in the past few months.

So who are these squeezable guys that have sparked my interest? heh, only time will tell. One of them definitely gets my mojo goin' and the other is also quite nice and encouraging as well. Who knows what will happen next.. two things are for sure, and that is: 1) follow your gut and 2) take it slow! I've been a bachelor (not including a few "interactions" from time to time) for so long now that i am totally built my current life on me (job, band, friends). My life isn't dependent on anyone else right now, and although I am ok with altering it, it will take time, a lot of trust and love to do it!

But, as Mr. Carrabba says, "This is easy as lovers go, So don't complicate it by hesitating. This is wonderful as loving goes. This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting? ... For so long i've been asylum bound, but just seeing you makes me think twice." ... So i'm not going to sit back and run, i'll start taking chances on these romances.. It must be a sign that i've gone from 0 to 2 interests from under my feet! I've just started to get to know them, and i'm sure one (or none) will emerge from the fold shortly...I'm not about two-timing or anything. Who knows what's in store next! What's the worse that could happen?---

--writing another heartbreak/love song! :)

Take care,

RE

"eat drink and be merry"

So I just spent a few hours with a friend of mine whom I've known for probably 2 years now. Seeing that I've been at school for the past few years, I didn't get to know him well. Anyway, he plays guitar as well, so we decided to get together to jam for a bit with my band mate. It was a fun time, b/c he played some of our songs on bass. It was great to hear some of the songs more filled out!

What really killed me is our conversation to and from the band practice. See, this person is a very unique individual whom I’ve watched really blossom and find himself over the years. When he first came out, his name was short for a female name (for example Andy for Andrea). To be honest, when I first met Andy (let's call this person that name for confidentiality) I was unsure of whether he was a guy or girl. The short form for the name didn't help either, seeing that it was quite androgynous. Anyway, after a brief meeting I realized that Andy was a bio female, and I made the assumption that Andy was therefore Lesbian, since she liked women...

But I was wrong.

Andy is in fact Trans. Now, I am still quite new to the Queer Transsexual community, so pls forgive my ignorant use of nomenclature describing it all, b/c these labels can get quite specific and confusing for me! Andy is in fact a FTM (Female to Male) individual, who is in the middle of transitioning by taking "T" (testosterone) as well as many exercises to transition into being male. I believe he will be beginning taking T soon, which I’m sure is something very scary and terrifying to deal with.

You may wonder, "Why would someone do this?" I'm no expert, but from my perspective, imagine feeling wrong your whole life, feeling that you want to be identified as the other sex, constantly having to flip flop from each gender in order to fit into society. Rather than enduring an identify crisis your entire life, then it makes sense to go through an intensive overhaul of mind and body to finally find your true self.

I realized that I took for granted being and feeling totally MALE. It's like how many heterosexuals, after meeting queer people, realize how they just took for granted their sexuality. In their childhood they could easily say "wow, that boy is hot" with their friends, easily go and buy gendered magazines, flirt with those of the opposite sex, talk to their friends and bond over their similar sexuality. It's the same thing here.

Coming out... again.
It's hard enough coming out in our society. People who are trans have to come out TWICE. Once to the general society, then again to the queer community. Holy shit man! And what's worse, is that you get the same discrimination, hate, intolerance from the gays and lesbians than as we do from the rest of society. You think we would know better eh? Apparently not. And man, if the gays and lesbians don't "get it", then it's not like they can try the general society route, since they're still grappling on the concept of "a boy can like a boy?" , "omg, my daughter is a lesbian!" and gay marriage.

The feminist movement has shown an anti-trans attitude as well. Some radical feminists have gone out and told FTM's that they outright disown the feminist movement since according to them they are female and want to get a dick. I don't know what to say to that, really.

I know it's hard to wrap your head around it all. But Andy put it in perspective when he told me that like the concept of Queer, the concept of Trans is an umbrella term for his entire community. This can range from Transgender to Transsexual. It can go as far as describing a Tom Boy, since that is a bio female who shows male gendered characteristics. And, oh my gosh, this could thus mean that even some butch lesbians could technically be trans too!

OH THE SHAME! OH NO! The Feminist movement will go to pieces! What will we do?? ...

Celebrate it. Learn and try and understand. If we expect the general society to understand us, then we should have the decency to do the same for them.

Internalized Fears....
It's clear than trans is NOT some fucked group that shares no characteristics with the queer community. It all overlaps...So deal with it! I hear from some gay men and a few lesbians telling me "oh Robb, when you're with them, watch out for what you say. Don't say this and this and make sure you identify them as this and this.. OR ELSE!!"

These pep talks only amassed to an internalized fear within me whenever I met anyone self-identified as Trans. I was paranoid of what I would say and if they would cut my dick off for saying the wrong things. Or even worse, they'd then think I’m this ignorant idiot that doesn’t know anything about queer sexuality, and become really condescending to me about the community.

...Broken!...
But in actual fact, my experience thus far as been incredible. Sure, I don't know all the terms, identification or truly understand what they're going through, but I can't b/c I’m not going through it myself... I can at least try to understand as much as I can, and help to spread the more positive things about the community to others. Sure, the trans community can get complicated, catty and stuck-up, but those terms could easily describe the queer community in general. What about youth groups, film groups, musician networks, or even political parties? We still give them credit (although the political parties one is arguable!) So why focus on the negatives?

The insufferable cruelty to trans and bisexuals within the community has got to stop. Forgive me for my soap box speech, but it's just disgusting to see how little time the community has in trying to understand an entire group under the Queer umbrella. It seems that they're just too busy trying to get their own identification or busy constructing a colourful flag for themselves. Wow, we have a 'bear' flag, and in fact an history behind the flag. Woopie do. Rather than breaking down the term Queer down to mini groups (e.g. cubs, diesel dykes, twinks, lipstick lesbians), let's try and focus on uniting them all and bringing everyone together.

...but still with a ounces of insecurity
I must say though, even through the walls are falling and I'm starting to get a small grasp on it, i still feel a bit intimidated around the trans community. When I'm deep in the fold, i can get lost in all the terms and double name references, and cliquey nature especially when everyone is going at lightning speed. But I do understand why i can be like a clique b/c of all the discrimination outside of them; they want to remain strong within themselves. Sometimes i have felt left out or like some "stupid gay guy", but i think with time that will start to go away. Just as I am making an effort to understand, i hope that the trans community will be open to new people and take time to let us into their lives to we can better understand each other.

I was originally planning on becoming a facilitator for T.E.A.C.H., however, I am not a TEEN so i could only become a support staff for the team. At the time I was considering volunteering for a food bank, but both fell through and i'm left not volunteering at all. I suppose i should give that route another shot, or at least volunteering in general. Any good organizations (queer oriented or not) that you can think of? May be planned parenthood or back at that food bank.. hm..

Let's hope in the future it won't be as bad as it is now for the community...

Take care,

RE

"Their eyes are all asking
'Are you in, or are you out?'
And I think, oh man, what is this about?
Tonight you can't put me upon any shelf
'Cause I came here alone,
I'm gonna leave by myself"
-ani difranco

Today I'd like to write about yet another frustration that I’m finding over the internet. It won't be as edgy and belligerent as my "Why MSN smells like the bathroom once I've had a litre of milk and muchos natchos @ the Green Room", but it should still prove to be a good read.

Now, I love meeting people, gaining new perspectives and ideas from a diverse crowd of people are what really get me going. With the widespread adoption of Internet in North America, I thought that this would be yet another great medium for meeting and talking with people at a greater scale.

Unfortunately, I’m finding that meeting people, specifically with meeting people for the sake of meeting new friends is quite slim. So far I’ve come to finding that ppl just talk for a one night stand, a full relationship or beginning the friendship with the hope that it will turn into something more.

In the gay world, I’m finding it much worse. What's up with these horny guys? Ok, that's sound hypocritical, since I must say I can get quite sexual at times, but geeze, when I ask about your favourite band, is it some kind of subtle cue to you that I want of piece of your ass? May be I just want to engage in conversation, for the sake of conversation?

Don't get me wrong. It can be a fun talking to someone who is good looking, or you have some attraction to. And I know of many ppl who have had successful relationships sprung from meeting online. That's great to hear, but sometimes I’m just looking to talk. Sure, may be, just may be something may happen the future, but I’m HONESTLY not working toward it, or thinking that it's a "work in progress" project.

Anyway, here's the typical cycle from regained optimism to run like the lilles in fear of your life and swearing never to do it again:

Step 1: Weed the hornies (well, at least the obvious ones) Whenever I get in this "hey, may be I can find some cool ppl online to chat with" naive state, I start to go and read some profiles at the usual places. Prelim scanning is quite easy. Automatically delete/cut/pass on the "btm 4 top" or "seeing daddy" headlines, or profiles with pictures of ppl with their shirts off. Sadly, there's not much left.

Step 2: Skim the profiles. From there, round two would include actually reading the profiles. Some again are just looking for that "better half" "long lost love", which can be a disaster if you message them and they think you're interested. I usually don't respond to those who are only talking about finding that other, since that basically tells me that's the entire purpose for posting. I kind of like that, at least their being honest on what they're looking for, and thus prevent any issues like the ones that I’ll discuss now.

Step 3: Run and engage in swift MSN blocking after realizing your critical mistake and the sheer idiocy of your actions. Where I have problems are the profiles that seem very genuine about looking to chat for fun. Sounds great, since I’ll write to ones that I have something in common with, or find something that they've written which is humorous, intriguing or something I relate with. Sometimes they're partnered, sometimes single. To be honest, the partnered ones are harder to chat with, which is kind of funny, but they're usually not very talkative at all.

I now even preface the message with "hey there, I’m just looking to meet friends and I noticed that _____ ". Sounds harmless and genuine right? Apparently some people need to get their eyes checked, since some think that's some kind of booty call: "You play guitar? That’s amazing me too, now take your close off and bend over!" OI!!!

I've been offered private phone numbers, tickets to Florida, China (!--ok, that was a hilarious ploy to get me at their house), addresses, sappy poetry, lyrics, quotations from Robert Frost, self decriptions of "absolute depression" and "crying softly" lonliness, you name it. A recent one is an edited photo of me with a starburst light above my head, with the message: "that's me, your guardian angel. But we're just friends". Hello? I just met you THAT night, from ONE message and a few random instant messages that focused on trying to immediately meet up and get my phone number to talk... at 4 a.m. that night. You may be a good guy underneath it all, but cmon here, how can i NOT be thinking you want more?! It takes balls to do that kind of stuff, and as a friend pointed out, it's probably... blue balls!

Does everything need to go so fast? Am I just some old giant that is always slow to get on the roller coaster ride? For those you don't know, my greatest enemy at Canada's Wonderland are the swings, so I’m definitely not up for 2 week lesbian u-haul relationships just as yet (no offense to the numerous lesbian relationships where partners graduated through the hibernation process at a rapid pace by moving into each other's spaces and leaving friends without a trace until a dramatic cataclysm break up 2 weeks later).

I know that my "type" is a dime a dozen, and you can find many other slim and toned Asians out there, so I just don't get it. I have found a few great people to talk to, some of which are older, younger, wiser, immature, and even good looking :). It's quite funny meeting all these new people, whether digitally or physically, and who knows what's in store for me next!

Take care,

RE

"eat drink and be merry"

Well, this week I had my convocation. It was long, but not as long as I had imagined. Bob Rae is the new chanellor of Laurier, so basically he doesn't really do anything except acts as a figurehead and adds to his illustrious resume of things he's a part of... But i got to shake his hand! Woo hoo! :)

I have also decided to take this entrepreneurial opportunity to hold me over while I look for a job. It's basically a new web service designed for young teachers, admin, parents and students. It allows for a one stop web community for everyone to use. Anyway, basically am there to help develop and execute a big presentation infront of a committee, and if it works out, then i'll be a really happy man! We'll see how it goes...now about...

HalloeEEEeeeeeeeeeen
For halloween, I went to two completely different events, both of which were really fun to go to! I was dressed up as Kato from Green Hornet, which i put together at 4:00 p.m. that night. I must say it looked quite decent for the amount of time I had to get it going.

The first event was a smaller intimate gathering of old friends from high school (although i wasn't one of the ones who went to the same high school as them!). It was cool to see another set of tight friends back from University or wherever they're from for this event. You can feel the history between them, as well as their openness for others. I can spot out traits from people from my previous group of high school friends here, which was really funny too.. It's like the Seinfield where Elaine finds another group of friends, and she says "sorry. i've already got a George" when George wants to join her group of new friends too.

Now, the other event was completely different. It was HUGE! Basically it was one of those parties where you can just walk in and out of the place, and noone would be the wiser. Kinda like some of those mega 1st year keggers. It was downtown and in an old toronto 3-story house. Each floor had different cultures. The first floor was an "in-out" area where people are always in transit. There was a kitchen there as well, so ppl were continually roaming for candies as well as in search for the washroom. In the second floor, the common area was converted into a DJ room. This room was illuminated with red and black lighting, highlighting a large painting on a draped fabric created by one of the tenants. There was also a balcony where ppl kept going in and out to smoke.

Speaking of smoking, it was great to see that people where abiding by the requested house rules. There was a sign asking for smoking to be outside, and it was amazing, b/c i didn't see anyone smoking cigarettes ... in terms other smokable products, well, that was engaged on the 3rd floor. Heh. I spent the majority of the night moving from outside, 1st and 2nd floors. It was hard since there were so many ppl that I didn't know, and my relation to the party was a friend of a friend's girlfriend! I did get talking to a few people, and they all were really nice and friendly. It was also fun to get hit on by some witches and fairies (i mean the REAL kind this time), and i even got my picture taken by a paperbag princess!

3 doors down (no, not the band) there was a major kegger taking place. It was absolutely INSANE. Suprisingly no cops came over, b/c ppl were so packed that they were flooding onto the streets. They were suprisingly quiet though, so that's probably why.

Halloween was definitely a great night. I got to go to completely different parties, both of which i could express different parts of myself: a little personal intimate one-on-ones, a little shouting over 100 dB electronic music, a little bruchetta and bottled water, a little weed and twizzlers. I wish more of you could have made it!

Take care,

RE

"eat drink and be merry"