So on Friday I went out for my buddy's bday, bar-hopping in the College/Bathurst area. His bday was actually a few weeks ago, but due to conflicting schedules (myself included in the mix) yesterday was the best night to go.

1st stop was the pint-sized pocket Cloak and Dagger pub. It basically fits about 40 people TOPS (incl. standing room at the bar). I really like the intimate space and traiditonal feel, however this pulled a drastic 180 degrees when they had a pounding acoustic alt-country trio playing Slayer covers... and having the female keyboardist/singer coming off stage and jumping in the seats to sing w/the crowd as the finale to their set.

Anyway, after leaving there we hit up Cobalt, a cocktail lounge/bar in the area for some more space as more friends trickled in. From there we tried to hit up Andy Poolhall's, but the line wasn't moving and we ended up at Sneaky Dee's. Oh Sneaky Dee's. Can't go wrong w/a place that sells mixed drinks for $2.99 in Toronto. And has the kitchen open past 2AM!

Taking a cab home there was a vile stench which raced through the car. The Cabbie opened the window. My buddy asks if i farted, which I denied followed by his own reciprocation of denial from the act.

"Woah, Must be the cab driver!" My buddy concluded.

The cab driver then proceeded to unload in a harsh accent all this crap about how cabbies "have it bad" and how they "always get this". He vehemently denied farting and blamed the "smelly sewers in this city".

I guess we could have shut up, but my buddy (never one to let go of an argument, life or death), accuses the cabbie of lying. "Face up to it man, it's no problem. We all have our natural gases".

Of course the Cabbie's emotional pot bubbled over; He ranted about how my buddy is a typical privledged, white kid who doesn't respect hard working people.

Ah yes, the race card. Lovely. Will this poker hand clear the house? Not while my buddy can do something about it.

And so my buddy fires back full throttle about shit like "learn to own up to your actions," "Whatever, I'm 27 (actually he's 26 but who's counting - for the purposes of this arugment a year off doesn't affect the validity of the statement) and I work a job that probably pays less than this" and "if this is something that is bothering you, then i can leave the car right now".

That was the the kicker. Cabbie pulls over at University and College (yep, we haven't even gotten that far) and says to get out. "I'm not paying though if you're going to throw me out". Cabbie then says he's calling the police b/c he won't pay the $5.50 fare, and then dispatches them.

What he gets is a guy replying back, "For non-emergency incidents, call (416) XXX-XXXX". Heh. Busted. But even if we get the fake "taxi security with badges" type, it'll still be a waste of time. I didn't want to sit there for an hour or whatever dealing with this shit. Especially over a fart.

So I stepped in a told the guy that we didn't want trouble, and I would pay the fare if he drove us home. My buddy then added that he demands his right to a quiet ride and kept "shushing" him as the cabbie made any noise (eg. whisper dispatch stuff).. all the way home.

Actually that was pretty funny... Cabbie never did blow up after that.

BUT as we left and my buddy got out, cabbie then has a heart to heart with me... Oh man. He opens up about his situation and how he's not like this, and that the sewers are really like this and the car sucks up the smell.. and I (apparently he has a connection b/c i'm non-white) should understand how hard it is being a cabbie.

Honestly, OK, my buddy was a bit rude vocally accusing the cabbie of farting (it wasn't directed at the cabbie - he actually said the comment to me), but man, the cabbie took it way to personal. If you're a cabbie and your taking fares at 3AM on a Friday night downtown, you've gotta expect younger people to be in the cab and a little intoxicated. I guess I gotta watch out for cabbies in army pants. They're unstable! I just think he's gotta lighten up. It's a fart man..

Course, provoking and prodding a sensitive cabbie doesn't help the situation :)

Cheers,

RE

"eat drink and be merry"