Happy PRIDE everyone!

Boy, it was a hot and humid PRIDE this year, that's for sure. This weekend was especially busy because it was SBF's dance show on the same weekend! Go figure. I'll first start with the dance show.

SBF's dance show was the first of his dance company, which was newly formed last year. I have to say that I was throughly impressed by the show, given that everyone has day jobs and does this on the side. I helped out by designing their ads and display pieces, which I am happy i did to help them out - they had enough on their plate!

It's so great to see such a stellar roster of individuals who have this as their creative outlet, executing it with class and professionalism. SBF was so great at the show, and in my opinion was one of the biggest crowd pleasers :). As i watched i thought "man, what i am i doing in my spare time!?". Now that my band is kaput, i don't have any long term projects on the go. I have met a friend who want to collaborate on some music this summer, which i'm super excited to see how that one ends up! I've also got talking to a few other ppl who are interested in something, so we'll see where i end up musically. May be take up some photography? I am obsessed w/taking photos (i have thousands on my computer to date), so perhaps i should take that more seriously.*

PRIDE
Pride this year wasn't as insane as the last. It's primarly due to:

1) INTENSE WEATHER! I don't respond well to extreme humid heat, and walking in 40+ weather all afernoon doesn't help!

2) GETTING OLDER! Yep.. the charm is wearing off, and rather than being the time to GO ALL OUT GAY OR GO HOME, it's more about just having a general good time, supporting everyone and being in a completely safe space...And that's what i think it's all about.

It's daunting for me to find out about walls that i've forgotten that are up in my everyday life. One is "PDA" (public displays of affection). I have NEVER been comfortable with this, and this includes holding hands. I don't really care when others do it (as long as it's not sucking each other's faces all the time!). SBF has been supporting by feeling his way around this, and i really appreciate that. I always thought it was just the way i was; if i was straight, i'd be the same way...

..but this weekend it was different. Because SBF was busy for it all due to his dance shows all weekend, I was left with some friends celebrating PRIDE. I have to say that all i really wanted to do WAS hold hands and be affectionate with the one i love. I couldn't help but feel alone in the masses of supportive people. I just wanted to hold SBF's hand, get many big bear hugs and even get a kiss from him. That last part was shocking for me, since i think holding hands is a lot, let alone kissing!

As i surfaced at Queen St. later than night from the subway leaving the village, i was quickly reminded of the "regular" world.. and the same issues and walls reappeared. It was a pleasant suprise to not have them there, and feel free from all this self-constructed restraint. Clearly they've been there so for long i've rationalized it and forgot they were there.

Alas, the learning streak continues from each PRIDE. I hope everyone who celebrated had a good time and look forward the the next! that will be soon as i'm going to MONTREAL that week when they celebrate it; and this time SBF will be there and will be all mine :P

Take care,

RE


"eat drink and be merry"



*i.e. excuse to buy a digital SLR camera! :)