I was called by an old friend yesterday night. It was a great surprise, since i haven't spoken to her in awhile; she was calling to see if i was free to meet up that night. 45-mins later, we met up at St. Clair station. It was FREEZING old out, and we quickly made our trek downtown to the Cameron House, near Queen and Spadina.

The place was about 1/2 full, with a band setting up to play. I walked to the backroom, where there is an additional mini-theatre, and sure enough there was a comedy act playing. Why not eh, sounds like a fun time. Just like starving musicians, there's gotta be starving comedians in Toronto! It was a "P.W.Y.C." (pay what you can) event, suggested $5.

After sitting down and chatting about vanilla boys and lost jobs, the comedy act started. It was a running show called "Slap and Tickle," showcasing comedians with skits in between. They had a running game throughout the show, where prizes were hidden in a Santa's bag full of socks. The prizes were hidden inside 3 of the dozens of socks inside. Lucky me, i was called onto the stage where i had to bob my head into the sac and pull out a sock with my teeth. There were actual prizes in there (we saw them put it in), and i was gunning for the $50 bill. Unfortunately, I came up with nothing, but they gave me a snazzy used "almost famous" t-shirt as a consellation prize :)

Now on to the show. The first comedian was ok, and as she got into her routine she got better. The next guy had a stoner Steven Wright feel to him. His jokes were quite crude.. For example, he was talking about the bad effects of acid where he had an hallucination that there were 2 children hanging from his closet... then he realized that it was only 1 kid and a mirror! .

...ANYWAY...

A jolt in the evening
The skits in between were horrible. I really felt for them, b/c they were sketchy, on the side of desperation for a few laughs. One was about 2 consultants for Mel Lastman, trying to tell him the error of his ways when Mel wanted a new slogan: "See you 'n T", but said quickly is "C U N T".. ouch.

Luckily, there was a twist of events to save the night. About 1/2 way through the show, "Pierre Francois", a stereotypical Frenchman, started to mingle with the crowd. He was all about enjoying the evening and sharing with his friends. He first says (in a cheesy French accent of course), "ohoh, i need to share a cigarette with someone eh!". He proceeds to take out 2 cigarettes and finds a guy to share a smoke with him.

"uh huh huh, now i need to share a drink with someone uh!" Pierre goes and shares 2 shots of brandy with someone in the audience. Heh.

"un huh huh, now i need to share a SMOKE with you guys, yes, you know vhat i mean eh!" Everyone laughs kind of hesitantly.. Is he going to pull out a fatty? We all wait in anticipation.

"I know you all smoke marijuana! But because of zee Toronto laws, we cannot smoke inside." He pulls out a joint. It looked real. "C'mon everyone, i invite you to come outside to enjoy a smoke. C'mon, i will use my Pierre Pressure and bring you out!"

Is this true? How incredible would this be eh? And sure enough, after a bit of hesitation from the crowd some guy goes "Man, he's serious, not kidding" which somehow validates everything and we all start to get out coats and head outside!

This is exactly what was needed to spice up the night!

So we're hanging outside and he pulled out something like EIGHT huge fatties, i mean the size of cigarettes. It was incredible, b/c we all stood freezing outside in a circle passing along spliffs. Just as i pass one on, another one comes in. It reminds me of my friend's MJ marathons in his bathroom!

The mood of the rest of the evening changes. Thanks to Mary magic, i was rolling in laugher for the rest of the evening. The last act, this guy Gord w/dreds, was absolutely hilarious. What was better is that the crowd AND the comedians were completely fucked. It was an instant connection between all of us. I felt bad b/c another friend who came to join us came just after the Pierre skit. too bad for him! Anyway, some highlights were his impressions of dale from Kind of the hill being George W. Bush, as well as his jokes about weed--you can't go wrong there! There was one where he was talking about being proud to be Canadian by not going to War.. saying

"...Yeah, while the Americans are bombing Iraq, we're here in Canada smoking up and saying 'dude man, queers are getting married here! hehe sweet' " Quality material there, ladies and gentlemen.

A quick McDicks Run
After the show, we went to McDonalds. I wasn't very keen on it, but they wanted to go badly and all I really needed was any salty treat :). So i caved and got some fries and devoured 'em. My friend got a happy meal (what's with girls and happy meals? my friend was right when he pointed that out!). So inside was this cheesy coffin called "zombie surprise" (wait for the animation on that link) from the movie haunted house. It was sooo bad. Basically you open it and his green zombie comes out to grab you hand. We left the coffin on the table, since we didn't want it.

As we were leaving, the guy behind us, whom i thought was staring at us b/c he totally knew we were high, suddenly came running out saying, "you forgot something!". What would we have forgotten? I walk in and realize that it's just the coffin. I could have said that we didn't want it, but would I want to spoil that warm and fuzzy feeling of good citizenship he was getting from running outside? Of course not! :)

So i went in and said "oh thanks so much!" and he looked down in modesty, and his accent he nodded "yup". I just couldn't throw it out. Now it was sentimental and symbolically represented this innocence...

I told you I was completely gone!

The rest of the night was just going home, trying to act "incognito" in the TTC and watching some downloaded Family Guy in my basement. They were ok quality, but hey, i was happy enough to find 'em on the computer (thanks sis!). One day i need to borrow those DVDs from my friend....

Recovering
So last evening was definitely something crazy and came out of nowhere. I thought I'd be staying home watching Gilmore Girls, and lookie, i'm totally wrecked, caring for a worthless McDonalds toy and waken up by my sister the next morning passed out in yesterdays clothing on the basement sofa. :)

What a night!

Take care,

RE

"eat drink and be merry"