So right now the apartment above me is getting into the "Christmas cheer" - she's a moaner indeed! As much as I love hearing the bed slam against the back wall for the final climatic minute, I thought I'd get some tea and write here.

It's been a busy few months and I'm sorry I haven't written here much lately. A big reason is because of the concert listing website, but I hope to keep this personal blog alive. I just realized that I have been on here since Sept 2003, which makes it a little over 3 years. In the past 3 years lots of things have happened, one of which was getting into a long-term relationship.

After much thought we decided to end the relationship (the week before Christmas!). It was hard, but the right thing to do. There was a lot of love and care in the relationship, but being such different people in our personalities and values system, we were far stretched from each other. When the fit was not there, all you're doing is compromising. It was a shock to end it quite abruptly following 3 discussions on the matter, but it wasn't like these issues weren't new things. I took 3 great conversations to kick start our relationship, so I guess it was fitting to end it on 3 as well.

On a positive note, I don't think I have any developed 'baggage' from the relationship. I've got a ton of learning, but nothing that I think will prevent me from being in a great relationship in the future. It's giving me better filters and understanding of what I should lookout for when I get back into dating. That being said, I am not prepared to jump back into something as deep as an LTR right now. One thing I've learned is that love can keep people together, even if it's not the right fit. Love compensates for that - I don't want to be in the same situation 3 years down the road with someone else, only realizing that we've just been using love and exhausting ourselves holding it together. Or worst yet, simply settling. It's a question of having a 'decent' relationship, but not a truly great one.

Over the past week I've done a lot more reflecting and 'notifying the friends' as I see them. Some shocked, some not. Most are understanding and have been quite helpful to me during the grieving process. What I'm a little surprised about are some of my friends' post relationship comments, but I guess you can expect some censorship when you're in the relationship. It's the polite Canadian way! But when we get to the down and dirty discussion, all pleasantries aside, I had received some great insights about me, my partner and our relationship from a 3rd party perspective. And I learned that it was no one's fault; It was just never meant to be forever. It's tough to say that, but I know that is the truth.

The timing is great and is shit at the same time: Great since it's the end of the year and I have this week off to to reflect and recharge; Shitty since it's the holiday season and I can't help but get stomach rolls seeing the romantic movies play 24-7 on TV, and seeing couples show love (yes, this includes the apartment above!). What also doesn't help are the ads from the Humane society talking about being flooded with homeless animals during the holidays. They have over 100 homeless cats and I think they are waiving adoption fees this week... SOOOOO I am going to go over and check them out. I can't go to the shelter alone as it's quite an intense experience, with so many animals caged, some sick and beaten. I'll wait until my roommate comes back. I don't want to feel like I need to adopt all of them! How can you say NO to this:



My ex had an acute asthma-related allergy to cats, which was the primary reason why I didn't want to adopt one. So now there isn't much holding me back...Except my own allergy! So I'll need to assess that too when choosing a cat that doesn't shed as much and one that I'm of which I'm not overly allergic. I used to have a had and it wasn't too big a deal. It's worth it for the amount of snuggling up to the TV we'll get to do!! :)

-RE